🚨 Phone buzzed. New referral: complex shoulder fracture.
Heart rate spiked. Key teammates were overseas or injured. Felt cornered.
😣 I scrambled for solutions, even got annoyed at a friend who couldn’t operate. My mind kept saying, Why me? What if I can’t handle this?
🙏 Then a colleague stepped in without hesitation. And I remembered—God’s in control, not me. My skill or planning can fail, but Jesus never does.
Stress eased. Peace returned.
💭 More on how He turned my anxiety around—read the full story on my blog.
I’ve had two recent episodes where anxiety came rushing in.
It’s almost comical. One of my juniors even joked that her favourite quote of mine is: “I cannot take stress.”
She probably said it tongue-in-cheek, but there’s truth there. I really do struggle with anxiety. Not in the sense of breaking down or lashing out, but in that tight, restless way when things don’t go as planned, when my patient list is longer than expected, or when the cases are unusually complex.
And then, two striking incidents reminded me how quickly I can get swept away—and how God steps in.
Episode One: The Shoulder Case I Didn’t Expect
I’m a knee surgeon, but in our hospital roster I sometimes see shoulder and elbow patients.
One day, a referral arrived: a patient with a proximal humerus fracture who clearly needed a shoulder replacement.
At that moment, key teammates were unavailable. One was overseas. The primary shoulder surgeon had injured his finger and was off surgery. Another colleague was also away.
As the implications sank in, I felt my emotions rising.
If he can’t operate, then who will? Why is this falling on me?
I almost complained to a friend, but instead just texted to check if he could advise. To my surprise, he immediately offered to help: “Find a list, I’ll do it.”
When I grumbled about the injured colleague, he gently reminded me, Maybe he simply doesn’t feel ready yet.
Grace in a sentence. In that moment, God provided help and softened my heart.
Episode Two: The Knee Injury That Changed on Closer Look
Not long after, another message arrived: a patient with severe injuries to both knees.
I skimmed the brief and rushed into action—mentally mapping surgery, hunting for theatre slots—without pausing to read the full history or even examine the patient.
Stress mounted. I was leaving for a long trip soon.
Why now? Why me?
But once the case opened up, everything shifted.
The patient was Malaysian and hesitant about high-cost surgery. She also had open wounds making surgery risky. With more information, the plan completely changed—no urgent operation was needed.
All that heart-pounding urgency? Unnecessary.
What These Moments Taught Me
These back-to-back episodes exposed how quickly I let anxiety drive me. They also showed how graciously God interrupts my spirals.
- Remember who’s in control.
- Check where my confidence lies.
God is sovereign. He loves me. He won’t leave me stranded with unsafe tasks. I can slow down, breathe, and trust His plan before I act.
Some thrive on uncertainty; others don’t. But whether we’re calm or anxious, the real question is: do we trust our own skill, which can fail, or Jesus Christ, who never does?
That’s the heart of it. Anxiety may show up, but it doesn’t have to rule. God’s providence, not my panic, writes the final chapter.